The End Is Just A New Beginning.

Since everyone is doing a reflection of their year (even *gasp* xia xue) I'm hoppin' unto dat bandwagon with this blog post, and I'm going to write a letter to myself, just because I'm narcissistic that way. So there!

Dear Jean of 2010,
As you're (I'm) typing this, there's only about 10 minutes left to the new year which in case you're too stupid to know, it's the year 2011, and I know you resent being called stupid, but since I'm you and you're me, I figured you'll let it slide this time cause you can't do nothing!! TEEHEE. So in this 10 minutes or so, let us reflect on the year thus far.
This year has been a disappointing year for you right? I don't know what happen between you and the Jean from 2009, it seems like when you guys did a crossover, things didn't go so well. Was there some sort of communication breakdown between you guys? What happened to all those things 2009 said to you? You know those things about changing yourself and working harder, did all those promises get lost in translation? Well to make things very clear I'm not letting you do that to me, No sireee, we do this with them watcha call it blacks and whites! No trusting those pesky word of mouth thingamajigs.
So even if you did have a few setbacks this year I'm sure there were some good parts of it. Like how bout those wonderful new friends you made? Yeah those people were cool right? Some of them just make you laugh and laugh and laugh, and some not so cool people made you cry and cry and cry but it's ok we all cried, and I will cry too I suppose, one can't really tell now, but from what I heard from all those Jeans excluding those baby and toddler ones, you cried the most. Ha, you're such a big baby. Oh, and another thing, you attended that really cool event called MUN too! You were such a wreck on stage, what happened to your cool and wit? All flown out the window the moment you're up there, but it's ok, you still did a great job and you learned some wicked stuff too. Nice going girl!
Also, you composed a song! Even though it IS for some Malaysian Studies project and one of your wonderful friends wrote the chord progression for you , but it's still something right? You even got on stage in a group to present it, heck you rapped in public even! Your mirror is sighing in relief. That was a nice moment, but you ruined it with your crappy video, go hide
your face in shame you! Why is it your good achievements have bad ones clinging unto them, such things will not happen to me, no sirree! Speaking of Malaysian Studies, you even went to visit an orphanage and old folks home, at least you've learnt to be a bit more appreciative. Changed your life a little that. Not a wasted trip at all.
So, speaking of friends that made you cry, you had a blast from the past and you actually erased that little bit of the past? The more's the pity, you should have kept a friend, what 2009 did was rational since that guy was a douche, but this was better, and well, guessed you've forever lost a friend, such a pity. However, you wasted SO MANY MONTHS over another guy, what were you thinking?? Or you weren't at all? I'm thinking the latter. You really were such an air head when it came to these matters. I suppose now I must be smarter that you, if not we won't be getting anywhere. You and your nonsense fantasies, with your nonsense thinking, too much la douleur exquise is what I think was your problem. I hope now you've really learnt your lesson, and for God's sake, keep you stupid heart safe! Aside from that, boy you really tanked examinations this year, god you are such an idiot. Come to think of it, if I had to use adjectives to described you it'll only amount to 2, stupid and idiotic. Well, I'm not going to repeat your mistakes anymore, let me do the hard work from now on, you and your stupid brains can go into something call memories from now on. So there.

Also I will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER cut my lovely hair like how you did. SO THERE!

Goodbye Jean of 2010, you taught me some things, and I hope I am truly smarter than you. There is however one thing I loved about you.You really spent the best days of your life with people who mattered the most,like our family. Laughter heals. With that, I hope tomorrow, with the start of a new day, I'm a better and changed person.

From, Jean of 2011.

Well, I guess this is it. The End. I have to say the one important lesson I've learned has to be that my parents are almost always right. So I have to listen to them more, it would save me loads of grief.
With that, Goodbye 2010. You were a good teacher.

2011 Here I COME!

Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Jean.

I'm old fashioned, I love the moonlight I love the old fashioned things The sound of rain, upon a window pane The starry song that April sings This year's fancies Are passing fancies But sighing sighs holding hands These my heart understands I know, I'm old fashioned But I don't mind it that's how I want to be As long as you agree To stay old fashioned with me

HELLO! Would You Like A Campus Tour?

Is basically what I've been repeating yesterday. I volunteered to be a student helper in the Taylors' Open Day which is bombarded at the masses through every media means possible (newspaper, radio etc) . So my job was supposed to be sharing my experience as an A levels student but I wound up taking people on campus tours instead. My former classmate Erik, now doing CPU, got pulled into sharing his experience so much that he literally freezes up and pretends to be invisible everytime the lecturer starts looking for students.

Digress I am doing, but.

Even though I was dead tired, I really loved doing the campus tour, because it involves me doing what I do best, talking! Lots and lots of talking. I also like to see how various families interact, for example, you can have over zealous family members but a quiet kid, or a quiet kid with quiet parents. It's interesting to see how the parenting goes about in a family during the brief time you spend observing them. Also, many people I met were a bit surprised that people from KL could speak Mandarin, as one lady said to me 'I thought people here only spoke Cantonese', such a misconception. Even bigger one? After learning that I was a student from a Chinese independent school they were surprised that I could speak fluent English. Seriously, students from Chinese independent schools CAN speak English. All in all, it was a fun day. Campus Day? Anyone?

Short post, but side note. CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't have a mirror, so I took a picture to check if I have any food bits stuck in between my teeth. My sister's total FTW comment?

'Is this preparation for your future advertisement?'

Sisters.

send in the trumpets the marching wheelchairs open the blankets and give them some air swords and arches bones and cement the lights and the dark of the innocent of men

The World Keeps Spining.

Look what I came across while in Petaling Street today! People making 'love letters' or as the locals know it 'kuih kapit'. Wait a minute, I just typed the phrase 'as the locals know it' that's totally ridiculous since I'm local too. So anyway, I came across people making kuih kapit the traditional way, love letters are actually thin and crispy biscuit normally eaten during Chinese New Year, there are auspicious writings on top of the biscuit and it's sweet and crunchy. My personal favourite. The traditional way to cook it (as you see on top) is to prepare the batter and pour it into flat metal clamps and cook it over a CHARCOAL fire. Then (a lot of skill is involved at this stage) the batter has to be cooked until golden brown and taken out to be folded into triangular shapes, if you fold too late the biscuit will have cooled and will break before the desired shape is achieved, if you fold too early then, lumpy biscuit ahoy.

My relatives once told me I should go back dad's hometown so that I can learn to make this biscuit, and I didn't commit myself yet. Squatting over a charcoal grill and burning my fingers for the sake of a few biscuits doesn't sound really exciting, but maybe one day I will, just to get in touch with my roots and next time brag to my kids about how 'mommy' made wonderful kuih kapits, and how lucky their generation is now and all that. I'm such a long winded person lar. 

I can't believe that while people are busy preparing for Christmas, Chinese New Year decorations and goodies are already on sale. There's even dried meat (ba gua) to be found all along the street, talk about early planning! 

Well the usual hustle and bustle of the crowd at Petaling Street adds on the excitement and anticipation. While it's not air conditioned and the roads aren't exactly marble tiles, it still kinda nice to go there just to mill about with the crowd. Watching all the going ons in the busy market and of course seeing the sights and sounds. Untillll, someone pushes a fake LV bag in front of you. Yeah, Petaling Street.

Anyway, while I've been busy shopping shopping shopping, my friends been sending me links to read about Alviss Kong the 22 year old Malaysian who posted a countdown to his death on facebook before committing suicide because he broke up with his girlfriend of four months.

LAME!

I'm terribly sorry if I've insulted him but it IS kind of lame and pathetic to kill yourself over a failed relationship of just four months, like FG and I dissected, you could probably have a more justified reason to kill yourself IF, 1) you're married to the girl for nearly 10 years 2) you lost your job in an economy crisis, or the company's cutting losses or you're being retrenched 3) you have 2 kids needing special medical attention that costs a bomb 4) you're diabetic 5) you're divorced. ( All 5 above must apply)

Think about it, he's 22, he has a lifetime of opportunities in front of him waiting to be discovered and he chooses to end his own life over a girl. I see no logic in his actions. Also, he's doing something really selfish, think about all the agony and anguish he's putting the people he love through, think about the public scrutiny now given to his ex girlfriend. If he truly loved her, or himself or his family, he wouldn't choose such a selfish way to deal with heartbreak.

Kids these days. Pfft.

*By the way I was kidding about the 5 necessary qualifications entitling you to kill yourself, I repeat it was JUST A JOKE! No one should kill themselves, please! Problems are meant to be solved, and not by taking the easy way out.*

Alviss Kong's Facebook Message

i love u…i said it i meant it…i’ll love u till the moment i die
devil bin this is the way how i love,perhaps ppl will think it was crazy
i’ve never tried to put down my pride my dignity my ego-ness on my first ex…but u were totally diff,i put down my pride my dignity my every shit
just to beg u….but i failed…as always im just a failure in a relation
but that’s just me,i’ll only do the things which i think its worth…
will i became ur memory forever ? who knows..since u were already special when the first sight i saw u…
perhaps,u’ll just fucking laugh at me…i bet there’s plenty of ppl will laugh too =) but who cares ?
that’s just me…that’s the way i are….
the last thing
i do appreciate everything about us….u were the light in my life..u given me determination for my future…but everything is gone…i don’t blame u actually…
because ~ so just wish u’ll have ya happy life in d future
ILY & IMY ~ sorry that i couldn’t brings u to walk until the end of the day
P/S : Please do not blame her….Im the one who decided this..she’s just the one given me the motivation n courage…..to my FAMILY,please..i beg of u all,dont ever blame on her…
To her future BF : IF U DID ANYTHINGS THAT WOULD HURT HER..I FUCKING SWEAR I’LL FUCKING HAUNT U DOWN EVEN IM JUST A SPIRIT =) !

I don't know about you guys, but I think he already caused his girlfriend to have a lifetime of unhappy memories, do you think she'll be able to get into a relationship again? All thanks to Alviss himself, part of his sick plan to keep her single? Does he really LOVE her? If he did, he would have understood that she also needs her own life, wonder what sort of life she can lead now?

IN CONCLUSION, relationships are a fickle thing, just do your best in life and everything will fall naturally in place. Killing yourself = bad idea.

Signing off, with hopes that this hat will appear under the tree this Christmas,

Jean.

But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough.

A Day In The Car and An Instant Tree.

It was really early in the morning when I stumbled into bed today, if I remember correctly it was about 4 am, and before I knew it, it was time again for me to open my eyes and generally get myself moving for the Ipoh trip my parents had planned, normally during exam time they will be all too happy to leave me at home with all the potential hazards so I can *cough**study**cough*, but since exams are over and I'm on holidays they decided that I should tag along. I have Dysania, so imagine how hard it was to separate my body from the warm bed, even my teeth ached from the effort.

Red hairband with red car at the background at a desperate attempt to look like a morning person after only 4 hours of sleep.

So anyway I spent the entire trip reading 'Carrie' by Stephen King, totally messed my vibe, before long I was already in Ipoh and of course being city people we had to stuff ourselves full of the wonderful food there, this time my parents took me to a hawker stall area known as 'Dai Xu Giok' literally meaning big tree foot, as the hawker stalls were located at the roots of some seriously old trees. The food there? Nice. Of course, the main point of the trip was to collect old bean's turntable and that was a boring 3 hours spent, upside of it was getting to listen to Dire Straits' Money for Nothing in record form, very berry nice. 

Dinner was at a small town named Sungkai apparently also famous for it's pig trotters, and it was there I ate this 'exotic' dish.

Guess what this is.

Go on guess, don't read the following paragraph, stare at the poor quality image and try to guess what is that on the spoon.

Got it yet???

The answer is Terrapin. Is there anyone here who doesn't know what is a Terrapin?? If so,  please do yourself (and the whole world) a favour by educating yourself via Wikipedia or Google or Baidu or whichever search engine you're fond of. My mom scooped some triangular jelly like substance with meat attached to it and put it on my plate, saying I should eat some before they tell me what it is. While I was munching and thinking that the meat is pork with some weird funky soft bone/fat/skin, they revealed the answer. I think I was in shock, and my mom continued on with 'well at least you tried some'. Nice way to deal with the whole issue, at least you tried some. FTW mom.

Well, it IS exotic right, anyway for those of who wondering what it's like, the jelly like substance is firm and tasteless, you can only taste the sauce which they cook it in and the meat has a texture like thinly sliced beef, though it boggles the mind, the dish is actually pretty yummy. There you have it, Sungkai's speciality, pig trotters and terrapin. While I was settling the bill I looked at the total amount of RM160++ and told the young boy to add in the price of our 3 frozen pig trotters we had as take away, and he retorted (in Cantonese) with 'Already added! If not where got RM160++ so expensive?'. Privately in my heart I was thinking IT'S DAMN CHEAP! Such a city girl is I. *pensive face*

Then when we reached Selangor, mom and I immediately continue on to secure our Christmas tree and fetch my sister from her never ending (or so it seems) band camp at school. Upon reaching home, we started assembling the tree. 

The tree when it first came out of the box. It was literally a stand and you had to attach the fake leaves unto it.

Leaves and branches of the tree.

Attaching the leaves was easy as they already coded everything for you. It's so simple even a child could do it.

Tra la la la la.

The finished tree will be out soon.

Till then people, I'm so tired the words are blurring themselves as I type.

Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Jean.

See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup Yeah buddy that's his own hair That little faggot got his own jet airplane That little faggot he's a millionaire

Yuletide Cheer and Calorie Piling.

Right, looking at the calender as I'm typing to announce with joy that Christmas (a holiday that is slowly sucking my money pool dry) is another 2 weeks away!!! 2 weeks as in 14 days, 336 hours!

The reason why I'm so hyped up? That's because all my relatives are coming over to celebrate Christmas with us, so that's probably the sole reason why my mom is so enthusiastic about decorating the whole house for Christmas and recently we have been on a tree hunting + ornament hunting + anything that screams 'Christmas' hunting shopping spree.

So in the space of 2 days, I've probably walked all there is to walk and seen all there is to see. I can say now that we've gotten nearly everything, the next big step will be the assembly of the Christmas tree. I feel tired just thinking about it.

YESTERDAY

So anyway, we have to eat to sustain ourselves for this hunting trip and so I've tried a steamboat restaurant affectionately known as 88 to the people around Bukit Tinggi. The concept is basically all you can eat for a fixed price and free flow of drinks, the student rate is RM19 and the adult rate is RM 24, can you imagine how appalled I was when I took out my student card from Taylors and was told to pay the adult rate?? Apparently according to this establishment, the student rate only applies to those age 17 and below. Unreasonable much! I'm still a student by rights, I deserve to be charged RM5 lesser! BUT I DIGRESS! As mentioned previously, it's a steamboat restaurant, however you can choose to grill the meat and stuff as they have a small charcoal grill for you, and the sides of the steamboat cooker are actually metal grills loaded with foil. When I say grilling, it means a little oil or no oil and watching the meat cook over a slow heat, but apparently to the majority of the people here, grilling means, loading the meat with margarine and watching the oil drip down unto the charcoal/foil and consume it paying no heed to the impending health complications that will inevitably follow. Watching how people consume margarine (which according to the internet chain letters is only ONE molecule away from being plastic and if you're a science student or anyone who remotely knows science, one molecule = FREAKING CLOSE) here, is enough to put me off eating and that is a mean feat. Also, here they have an aquarium filled with live prawns which you can catch and cook for that 'fresh taste', I prefer the ones already laid out, the dead non jumping ones, less hassle, same great taste.

The mini charcoal grill.

The steamboat cooker and the grill around it.  Of course this was taken before we started eating I'm afraid after the meal it was not a sight to behold. All in all the food was 'bearable' if I have to eat here again, it'll probably be with the company of friends which can make even the suckiest food taste like the feast up on Mount Olympus. 

I've always wondered how establishments like 'how you can eat survive' with just the cover charge, and surprisingly RM 24 is bearable for a meal. Then my old bean enlightened me, apparently it's all calculated and the price will cover all the expenses the restaurant will incur including the supplies ( unless of course you're some glutton and can eat everything wellll that's a different case). So, there is a limit to how much a person can eat and by gambling that people will get full from all that free drink and endless soup from the steamboat I guess it's kinda easy to keep the business running, if there are no gluttons eating. 

Then of course it's off to the Bukit Tinggi Jusco to search for Christmas Trees. I'm never ever going to look at anything green and spindly anymore and we got a tree. Yay. 

Wore this to Jusco. The hairband is MAD CUTE! Just LOOK at those two Santas up there, and the best part is the bobble backwards and forwards when I shake my head. How CUTE is that!

TODAY

I'm going to gamble that none of my lecturers are reading my blog, so I shall just say with absolute frankness that, I just couldn't be bothered with the last day of college and thus I fobbed it. Choosing instead to accompany my mom to IKEA to *quell surprise* shop for Christmas deco. Seriously, though I was whistling Christmas carols, a few hours of looking at shiny baubles and glittering trinkets was enough to make my retinas bleed glitter. In other words, once we gotten the necessary decorations, we went off.

Since IKEA is connected to the Curve and Ikano, we hung around doing more window shopping and for the first time in my short existence I was actually too tired to shop, I was walking into the Curve with all its pink themed decorations and all I wanted to do was sink down in a bench, jaded from shopping, how terribly spoiled I have become. Oh well, there will be a next time to window shop there. For now, I'm contented to leave it half explored.

This dresser is MAD CUTE MAD SWEET. Love the concept.

A pair of super duper expensive high heels paired with my white socks, making it look very fashion gone wrong or right depending on who is looking at this picture. To the side you can see my poor abandoned sneakers. I was wobbling in the high heels going 'mirror mirror' every now and then as my sister kept laughing when I wore the shoes, note to self, try not to hold hands out and imitate penguins walking, shop assistants will not look pleased.

And now for the more serious stuff, I have a classmate that is actually going to leave class and pursue his medical dream in....

...

...

...

RUSSIA! 

Right I can't say I'm totally in agreement with this plan because 1) There is ONE MORE semester to go till the end of our A levels, just ONE MORE, we've suffered so far why not cross the finishing line as well? 2) Russia is COLD 3) Russian syllabus are super off tangent 4) Did I mention Russia is cold? 5) The lessons are conducted in Russian, people speak Russian, the signs and books are in Russian and the last time I checked, Malaysia has zero Russian, leaving you with no choice but to learn Russian and according to my ANOTHER friend who is already in Russia, Latin for the anatomy class, BUT it is his life so I guess this is what he thinks is the best for him. So no matter what good luck to the lame god , the class will never be the same again. No more lame jokes such as 'got point' no more laughing over the shared joke of too loud for ants, no more random facts that entertained me so much, parting really sucks! 

With that I'm signing off,

Jean.

Here we go Take a bow Because we're over now You were not There for me When I needed you and honestly I think I loved you more If that's possible I think I loved you more It's over now and I can't save you Some things are better left unsaid And all the promises I made were so stupid Maybe we'll be able to be friends

If that's possible.

P/S It could just be me and my weird mind again, but doesn't ANYONE out here finds it remotely weird that National Geographic uses 'The Only Exception' by Paramore as the song for their advertisement for the programme 'Great Migrations'? Is it just me again?

 

 
 

Condensed and Revised.

Try as I might, I can't stop 'Imagine' from playing in my head every time I look at this picture.

Right, it's been quite awhile since the last post, and these two days I've done nothing productive except for going out and spending some (a lot) of my parents hard earned money. So basically I will condense and share some stuff here but mostly in picture form, I think my skills in writing has deserted me. Cue sad face.

Was in Amcorp Mall in this place called Ka Fei Dian and their KFD coffee was 'da bomb'!!!

It is seriously very berry oh so wonderful dancing on clouds nice!

My sis and I had henna done while we're in Amcorp Mall. Both of us develop an allergic reaction to the henna pattern but we are kinda unsure what caused it, my hand swelled up and it was not pretty at all not that it wasn't pretty before but yeah I should stop talking or typing now.

Oh then I feel in love with these shoes! Since they weren't my size and the price is outrageous so it's goodbye to them.

Met my long lost twin while shopping too =)

Remarkable resemblance.

Short post, Nothing new to say anyway. Hopefully something eventful cropped up.

061210

When I signed off with that on Sunday, I didn't mean something THIS eventful to happen to me today! Right so I went for a drink in AC (Asia Cafe), and while I was there I did something so totally gauche and EMBARRASSING, I split coffee all over myself.

But I'm totally fine with that, it's just that, all over myself also includes my brand new purse.

Oh yeah, you guys know that purse, the one I'm raving about, my brand new purple Miu Miu purse which my dear brother brought back from his Europe trip having carried it ON HIS FREAKING BACK the whole time. 

THAT PURSE!

FUCK!

THIS PURSE!

I am so devastated about it, not because it's Miu Miu but because it is a gift! I don't know, I just find that I was supposed to have taken better care of it and now it's never the same again. I'm so pissed with myself, so far I have seen 2 ways to deal with this coffee stain, one with white vinegar another with shaving cream...Hmmm choices choices.

In the meantime I shall mope about and be pathetic. STUPID coffee!

By the way my college mates totally jumped in to help me find a change of shirt =) So touched but still

STUPID COFFEE!

No longer with love but still hugs and kisses,

Jean.

Sorreeee kor =(

And So It Continues.

Boy Meets Girl as you all know from the previous post is just another typical story of Boy and Girl and their intertwined lives during these 360 or so days, told through the eyes of someone who knows Boy.

Boy Meets Girl (Part 2)

It all started with a little spark known as friendship, where 2 innocent souls stand side by side and awkwardly and shyly ask 'Hey do you want to be friends?'. Boy struck up a friendship with Girl, and the days together was filled with joy and laughter. Somehow or rather, Boy always knew that his side of friendship has another little element and that element is 'Like'.

Soon though things took a turn for the strange when Girl knew about Boy's feelings, she will first be annoyed and try to push him away, even changing her seat in class, but their friendship never did fell apart, in fact, it spiraled into a destination where no one can explain or even put a sign to it, if friendship is like the Earth itself and Love is like Heaven, then their relationship is somewhere between Earth and Heaven, in the sea of white clouds dotted amongst the clear blue sky, the annoying yet wonderful part of being half friends and half lovers. Where there is a reluctance to push friendship fully into another level.

It has become a routine for Boy to go home, log on his Windows Messenger just to wait for Girl to be online, or to clutch his phone as though it was his only anchor to reality while he's spinning of into a place of dreams waiting for Girl to message him. In the midst of all these, there still was time in Boy's life to prepare for his examinations, miraculously. Another thing that became routine in his life, is to care for Girl always, with each passing day the boundaries between friendship and love get more and more blurred, like chalk lines on a sidewalk drawings, only this time, the chalk lines are between their hearts.

Could this be the happy ending between Boy and Girl, the simple love blossoming out of friendship? Alas it was not to be, as Fate had other plans for these two people. "Don't be so close to me" was frequently thrown at Boy's face every time they got closer, Girl for her own reasons didn't like this sort of relationship with Boy. Thus, she kept hurting Boy by telling him that she doesn't like him being so caring and so on. However, what not many people know is that, while she says that a little bit of her dies inside to, and in the privacy of her own room, she cries, for the boy she could never love perhaps? No one knows. The thing is with girls is that, we love to act like we're tough, but in reality we're just another half boiled egg, when you crack our exterior, inside is all soft. That's girls. She would rather hurt in the realms of her own world, she would rather take on the challenges in life whether she can cope or not, than depend on Boy. She will tell Boy that she wants her own space and is not use on depending on him, in her mind, she cannot give Boy what he wants even if he has already made clear he doesn't expect anything of her, thus she would rather him be happy with someone else, than to be with her, but Boy will always be there no matter what, all she has to do is turn back to look and he will be there support her, by her side as her friend, or at the back of the scenes as her supporter. Boy will be there, and all she has to do is reach out.

There are times also when both of them are as silly as two children again, calling each other ridiculous pet names, confiding their fears and dreams to each other , having conversations with each other that last throughout the night, just generally enjoying each other's company. To Boy, this were all just short lived happiness, it's like the brief period of rain in the dessert, soon the scorching sun will dry up the water, and once again it will be another period where pain and anguish will dominate Boy's heart again. People constantly ask him 'why?' , why torture himself over a girl who blows hot and cold and then hot again all the time, people constantly tell him to not hurt himself over just one girl, there are plenty of other 'fishes in the sea' as everyone was fond of saying, but to him, no matter how big the world is, no matter how many bazillion fishes there are out there, she's the only one he wants. It's unexplainable. Only those in his shoes will understand. Every night before he closes his eyes, he will draw up the image of Girl, with her straight black hair, laughing eyes and wide smile, but when he closes his eyes, who knows? He may have her already imprinted in his heart, so even with his eyes closed, he will be able to draw up the exact replica of an image of Girl, so even in his darkest hours she is there.

There were letters penned to Girl, whether they have reached the intended person, I do not know, but each line was penned with utmost care and adoration. It's rare to have someone who will write letters nowadays, there are 26 alphabets and a million of permutations and combinations these alphabets can undergo, in each line of his letter, in each word he writes, it all shows love, despite the numerous combinations there is so if Girl does receive it, let's hope that she can see in every line the love Boy has for her. 

Is this just another phase in Boy's life? We can never really know for sure, if this is Love or just another mindless infatuation in a teenage boy's life. This is the rare moments when a guy will lose sleep thinking of a girl, this is the rare moments when a guy will drop everything to care for a girl, even if it means sticking presents to her car wind shield. This is the simple story of Boy Meets Girl.

BMG

Phew, had writer's block for a moment and couldn't get into the vibe of the story. On a side note, went for another driving lesson today after a long hiatus, and surprisingly my instructor said that I was not bad. Well, glad to know that I at least can do SOME things right. However I now sport this major sunburn on my arm. UV rays, thou dost hurt my skin.

Right, nothing new as usual. So,

LOVE, hugs and kisses,

Jean.

Boy Meets Girl.

Before embarking on my story about boy meets girl, let me just talk about something that made my day today. While I was walking up the stairs to the library, someone said 'Cool shirt' , and I looked up to see this guy addressing me and he repeated the compliment again 'cool shirt you know, Dark side of the moon,' and I'm like 'Yeah, the album's cooler.'  And we parted ways. But what he didn't know was, HE MADE MY DAY!

I wore a cool shirt today *happy laughter and little happy jig*

So let's start with a hypothetical story of boy meets girl, only it's not really hypothetical come to think of it as the characters are real, so let's just say it's a typical story of boy meets girl.

Boy Meets Girl.

You know as far as stories go, this one has to be the most confusing story. I have to say I know boy but I can't say much about the girl since I never met her before, so if this makes the story a little biased, then, it shall be thus.

Boy was my classmate since secondary school, last time I couldn't stand him because we had different ideologies about many things, however, people change I suppose, in college as I grew to understand him I find myself breaking many of my previously formed opinions of him and I find that I shouldn't have been so close minded with him in the past. Strangely one day, we got unto the subject of relationships in college and thus enter Girl.

Girl, is a student of a teacher who used to teach Boy, so isn't that some strange coincidence to show how small the world is? Boy sees Girl during the first day of orientation, and it was as if everything else didn't matter, the only thing he could see was the sharp clear image of the Girl's face and that's when he knew that this could be something known as 'love at first sight', or more accurately , teenage like at first sight for I don't believe we truly understand what is love right now. Infatuation maybe, deep like but love, maybe in the future.

Tumultuous is what I can use to describe the relationship between this 2 people, at certain times they will be so close that they were inseparable, at times it will be as if they were back to being complete strangers. Boy has always been understanding of Girl's situation and how she can never have a boyfriend, he understood and accepted these terms, but one thing about guys who are infatuated , they can never stop trying to love a girl, no matter what the circumstances or situation is. Thus, he was still always there to take care of her every need, was still always there to help her out of sticky situations, was still always there to love her, and hope that deep inside she could love him to, even for a little bit. 

For her birthday I think he drove the entire length of Selangor just to make sure her gift was perfect, and he even went all out to make sure she got the biggest surprise of her life, and that was just the beginning. From texting her incessantly to making sure that she had water to drink and food to sustain her during lessons, there is nothing he won't do. (She's anemic I think) . As for the Girl, there would be 2 scenarios since I don't know her well, she could either be stifled by his constant attention, or she could be guilty that she cannot give the guy the love he needs, she could probably like him also but since her family is so strict she doesn't dare to be more than friends with him or she could despise him. Either way, Girl makes his life a little miserable. Every time she pushes him away to either protect him or herself , it makes him die a little inside, to an infatuated guy, every rejection is just as good as stabbing them in the heart, and she did this multiple times. One has to admire Boy for he is still hanging on to this weird twisted relationship. His latest project? Folding stars to fill up a bottle of Girl's favourite things.

Today I decided to write this story because of what he told me, and I quote 'every time I feel sad I will I fold stars, it's a bottle full of sorrow.' I bet by now some of you people will be rolling your eyes and saying out loud 'come on this guy's pathetic!! All these whining and moaning because of a girl?? Get a life Boy, grow some balls and things like that.' However, we were all like this once, once upon a time in our short existence, our sun did rise and set for that one person, and for those of you who scoff at him, just remember the long nights you had experienced when your days revolved around a certain person, you may have walked away from it, but you know deep down your heart still bears the scars from that encounter. 

Is it worth it for a guy to throw all ounce of pride and ego for a girl, is it worth it for his tears to cascade down because of a girl? Only he will know. As for the girl, she is truly lucky, I hope she knows this, but in her lifetime, there will be only one guy who will love her unconditionally, love her naively like how Boy is doing now, and that is because right now we're young, and the world is our playground, so we toss our hearts out to search for our perfect match, as the years go by we grow more and more cautious, and we will never love someone like how we used to when we were younger. Maybe one day she will discover that this is probably true love, maybe one day she will look back to see him walking away from her also, but hopefully she will look back and be grateful for all he has done. 

It could be that some divine intervention has arrange for them to meet so early on in life, so that each of them could learn a lesson from this encounter, maybe it is a beginning of a really long love story that will end in happiness or sadness, depending on how Fate plans it. All I can say now is, I never met anyone like Boy. I have seen many infatuated guys but he..beats the lot. Well and truly beats the lot, everyone else can bite the dust now.

There is no ending to this story maybe because it hasn't ended yet, but ongoing till the future which my friend like to say is unforeseeable. Hopefully when I get to the ending it will be going out in fireworks.

My personal thoughts about this? Boy, you're truly a wonderful person for loving someone like this, Girl you're truly lucky to have someone who loves you like this. As for this story, I have to say To Be Continued soon.

Boy Meets Girl.

I Want, and I Want.

This was something I wrote a long time ago, I just felt like sharing it here all of a sudden, because I'm that way. *grins*. It's all my jumbled up recent 'wants' condensed in a few hundred words. 

11th November

Sometimes I want to cry and cry and cry and cry until I fall asleep exhausted or I want to run and run and run and run till my legs give out and I fall down where I stop. I want to punch something, kick something, I want to scream at the pounding turf matching its fury tide after tide, I want to dive into the ocean and let the coldness of the sea water jolt me awake from this stupor, I want to lie watching the stars cover the inky black sky, I want someone to hug me so tight it feels like I'm being crushed. I want to listen to the waves crashing against the rock and watch the spray shoot high up in the air like water confetti. I want to listen to the pounding of feet on the pavement, the breaking of ice on a frozen pond. I want to talk endlessly and watch the snow drift down, watch my breath become tiny puffs of white cloud in the cold air. I want you to hug me and say that everything is all right. I want to just sit beside you listening to you talk or lie on top of you listening to the rumble of your voice when you speak and the steady lub dub lub dub of your pumping heart. I want to fall into a mound of white fluffy pillows that smell like fresh linen, that will cover a gigantic bed.I want strawberries with chocolate. I want vanilla ice cream during the rainy days. I want kisses in the rain but not the cold that will eventually follow, do you notice how in movies no one gets sick after frolicking in the rain? Must be the ho shua. I want hands linking over a shared moment, long telephone conversations punctuated by easy silences, not those silences that have you going 'OMG what SHOULD I say now, no, no pressures of having to make convo, just easy silences just because we know each other so well. I want to build a bridge to bring us closer, yet I want to set fire to that bridge cause chaos will inevitably follow.I want to glimpse just what's in your mind, maybe hold your heart in my hands for awhile, then return in to where it should be. I want to fall in love with the same guy everyday for as long as I live, kisses on the forehead during a bright sunny day, I want my best friend to always be there to pick up the fucked up pieces of my life when I accidentally shatter it. I want my phone to ring with your name on the screen I want to look in the mirror to see a reflection of me, that I can truly accept. I want to be able to stop loving you , and I know I can in the foreseeable future, soon, maybe, quite possibly. I want to lie on my bed just looking at the dust motes flying about and turning golden cause they reflect the sunlight streaming from the open window. I want to see your eyes light up when you're talking about something you're passionate about. I want to relive all those times, yet I want to throw them all away. I want explanations, ultimatums, but I'm scared of having to face the road ahead alone, I'm afraid of the answers I might get to my questions. I want to know yet I don't want the know the truth, because I don't think I can handle it, I want to know when you will return the folded origami, then I will finally know it's the absolute end to everything. I want to know why we've changed but I think deep down I already know why. I want love, just a different kind, I want love won't break me down won't brick me up, won't fence me in, that's the love I want, I want love. I want candy floss on a summer's day. I want serenity tranquility and most of all, I want things to return like how they once were. 

And that was then when I was super melancholy. 

Now it's different I think I hope maybe, possibly, most probably, quite so. Indeedy do.

Bibbity bobbity bo.

Love, Hugs and Kisses.

Jean.

If I could write you a song to make you fall in love I'll already have you up under my arm. LOL joking, I'll be single forever.

Saudade and Unfairness.

Late nights, are a killer and a bitch, excuse the language. 

Sometimes when insomnia kicks in the mind starts to wander down those paths that should have been left unexplored. Delving into the dusty folds of the memory to replay events in choppy sequences. Those darn wizards have it easy don't you think, 'OBLIVATE' and poof all those memories gone in an instant no more thinking, no more over-analysing, no more remembering.

Wish life were that easy. Fiction world is wonderful.

Anyway moving on to another subject, my friend bought a new Blackberry barely a week ago, and today he sms-ed me saying that his phone got stolen. I was shocked and the story is as follows, some guy came up to him on a motorcycle and wanted to ask for help, he requested to borrow my friend's phone to call someone , and the moment the phone was in his hands he sped off, leaving with the Blackberry. WTF.

Note MF= my friend.

Even though I do think MF was a bit naive to have lent the phone to the guy and to be fair he did berate himself about it afterwards, saying that he was stupid to have not noticed the many flaws in the thief's story, but I do think it was despicable of the thief to pray upon people's sense of kindness. MF even went as far to say that this is what he gets for trying to help others. What is WRONG with these people? Everyone is saying the society is not as loving as it used to be, gone were the days where you could Leo strut down the streets without fear of being mugged but now even if you were dressed in holey shorts you would be set upon by some desperate individual looking for a quick buck.

Are we to blame for the less kind and caring society? Not really. If we can't trust anyone, how are we to lend a helping hand? In the case of MF, all he wanted to do was to do some stranger a favour, (scouts and their good deed a day) however in return he lost a phone that was barely a week old. Can you blame anyone for being suspicious?  Sure we read stories about people helping random strangers but those are few and far between, people like the thief should be hang drawn and quartered for killing yet another individual with a kind heart. For all we know, this could lead to another generation of youths becoming more and more suspicious of their surrounding people. Vicious cycle. 

Am I suggesting that everyone just go about merrily handing out kind deeds, not really,as the Chinese proverb goes, 害人之心不可有,妨人之心不可无.（Love your neighbour, yet pull not down your fence. Score one for Google Translator!!). Basically it means that we should not intentionally harm others yet we must not let our guard down in front of others also. If everyone had this sort of mentality then I'm sure that the society will be a better place to live in. For real. 

In conclusion, ( I feel like I'm writing some high school essay). CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!! To quote Professor Mad Eye Moody, try to be kind but do try not to get fooled. As for thieves on motorcycles..rot in hell!!

You on zat motorcycle...I is watching you!

With Love, and Leo strutting,

Jean =)